I’m no different than any of you. I get up each day and put my pants on one leg at a time. It’s just these days that’s the last physically active thing I do. Oh, and we’re talking about sweatpants. It’s not like I’m Tagg Romney over here. But yes…

I started thinking about coming out of retirement late last year. I’d see people at the store or hear from them online and they’d ask, “Are you ever going to come back? Man, you were the greatest!” I’d just smile politely, ask them if they wanted an autograph, then go…

Oh Ball(s) “Man, my nut really hurts.” That’s how this story starts, some 24 hours ago now. I climbed out of my car and stood slowly, my 260 pounds of bones, muscle, and pepperoni pizza popping and cracking as I stretched. My car is a 2004 Oldsmobile Alero, approximately six inches off…

It’s no secret I have an apprehension about flying, and in fact I’ve written about it before. And it seems that because I have this apprehension, shit always happens to me that only compounds the problem. …

It’s been exactly six months since I last published, a sort of blogging sabbatical necessitated by the stresses of working multiple jobs, having multiple kids, and having a singular me. But today something happened at work that stirred me from my writing slumber. The sort of epic story that called…

Take a second and think about how much our lives have changed the past couple decades thanks to advancements in technology. You’re likely reading this on your phone, hopping back and forth between Snapchat and Facebook while checking sports scores on your smart watch and DVRing bad reality TV. Tomorrow…

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day which means couples everywhere were swapping everything from candy and flowers to jewelry and passive aggressive comments. One thing that almost assuredly changed hands yesterday was sex coupons. If you’re not familiar, a sex coupon is a piece of paper one person gives to another to…

Here’s a quick story that I swear could only happen to me. I turned into 7-Eleven yesterday and pulled up to the pump. …

It’s been nearly two weeks since I penned the story of my recent tooth extraction, and I’ve been overwhelmed with comments from people telling me how much they enjoyed it. How much you enjoyed it!?! I cried for nearly three straight days and was in so much pain that one…