What the cotton candy raccoon can teach us about life

Jason Wolverton
3 min readJan 7, 2016

By now you’ve no doubt seen the somewhat hilarious yet mostly depressing video of the adorable little raccoon inadvertently dropping some cotton candy into a puddle of water. Spoiler alert: the cotton candy disintegrates and the raccoon stands there with this WTF look on his face.

I’ve seen this video shared all over Facebook and Twitter, and the more I watch it the more I realize there’s a lot of wisdom hidden in this six seconds of raccoon hell. Wisdom, might I add, that I’d like to share with you all today.

The greatest things in life can disappear in an instant, so enjoy the moment.

He’s got this sweet ass hunk of cotton candy in his hands and what does he do? Does he take a great big bite out of it and enjoy the moment? No. He tries to carry it away and Mother Nature snatches it from him with her bitchy aqua hands. Life can be cruel like that sometimes and if you’re the hungry raccoon you need to seize opportunity by its haunches and lick the shit out of it before you end up standing there like an asshole staring at your hands while some jerk videotapes you and posts it all over YouTube

Give a raccoon some cotton candy and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a raccoon to cotton candy and he’ll eat for a lifetime.

This teaches us that the word “Fish” is actually quite remarkable given that it can be a verb and a noun and that you do one to get the other. I sat here for 20 minutes and couldn’t think of another word that you could do with that.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself

Fear and puddles of water, that is.

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling but rising every time our cotton candy dissolves in nearby water.

The easy thing to do for this raccoon would be to give up. To climb back into his den or nest or wherever the hell raccoons live and just give up. But not this guy. He looks like a real fighter. A mere 30 seconds after this video ceased recording he ran over to another kid, bit him in the leg, and stole his elephant ear.

When you fall off the horse, you have to get back on.

Actually this doesn’t apply here as raccoons cannot ride horses. And if they could this guy wouldn’t have to worry about scavenging for treats because people would be walking up to this circus raccoon being all like, “Holy shit, that raccoon is riding a horse! Buy him a cotton candy!”

If you enjoyed this post then you’d love reading Jason’s book “You’ve Got to be Shitting Me: One Man’s Nine Funniest Poop Stories” available for the Kindle and Kindle App at Amazon.com. And to keep up-to-date on our newest stuff, like his Facebook page at Facebook.com/BigFunnyBlog.

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